Finding the balance...

Inquiry questions of the day: What does balance mean to me?

Lately, I haven't had a lot of balance in my life. While this post isn't about inquiry based learning per se, it is about teaching and its power to be all consuming.

I'm a mad scientist. I'm that person that gets an idea and goes with it until it's completely overtaken my life. I don't get enough sleep, and I wake up at crazy hours in the morning with a burning desire to create. I become all consumed with my creations and passion. Without time in my life to pursue my artistic interests, creating assignments and units has become my creative outlet. Inquiry based teaching has sparked my creativity and I'm flying at 100 mph. It's fantastic and I love it, but I'm going to burn out. I can't sustain this pace.

So, what does balance mean to me? Ideally, I want to do the best job I can as a teacher, a mother, a wife, a friend, and the C.E.O. of our household. Notice how I didn't put myself into that equation? I never put myself into the equation. I'm like so many mothers - especially teacher mothers. We are the last on our list of priorities, and truthfully we never get to the bottom of our to-do list.

In the last few weeks my balance has been so far off that I haven't been a very good mother, wife, friend, or C.E.O. of our household. When your balance shifts, it happens so slightly that you don't really even notice it. It's about just getting through this week, this day, this next event. One day you realize that it's been two months since you took time to cut your toe nails, and it hits you: I don't have time to cut my own toe nails? How did I let this happen? (I apologize for the gross imagery)

This is the paragraph where I'd like to write my epiphany. Here is my great learning and I've realized how to achieve the balance: I'm coming up blank. I'm seriously telling myself that I can figure out the balance thing after this day, this weekend, next week, and the first of November. Logically I can tell by my thoughts that I could let this keep happening until the Christmas break, and then again after, and so on.

It's time for a plan. It's a small idea, but I'm going to let it worm itself through my brain until it becomes a concrete idea, and then hopefully reality: I'm going to do nothing. I'll do this nothing one day after school and one morning on the weekend. During this nothing time I'll try to enjoy the sunshine, the breeze, my kids laughing, my husband, and maybe even myself.

Teacher burnout is high. We all go through it. We're either in the phase of burning out or burnt out. Those teachers who have learned to find the right balance are far and few between, and I say that because I don't know if it's possible. Is it possible to meet the demands of the job and find balance? I say no.

Remember the TV show Boston Public? When a young teacher asked Harry Senate does it ever get any easier. Harry replied, "Not if you're doing it right."

And that my teacher friends is why I think we have a hard time finding the balance.